It would be easy to dismiss concerns about a concern that as weak aesthetics. But two models-turned-psychotherapist argue in "face it," his new guide for women, to fight with the change of appearance may be less disappointing not to deal with a financial loss, a decrease in the work or a divorce.
After decades of advising patients, Dr. Vivian Diller and Dr. Jill Muir-Sukenick say that fears about aging can stimulate an existential crisis of type. Such fear is not about vanity of itself, but it has more than with a loss of potential and questioning the place in the world. It can cause depression, sleep disorders or alcohol abuse, say.
However, therapy is usually not in the short list of solutions for the annoying for a cosmetic "problem". It is a treatment of laser for lunch or a cream $180.
Dr. Diller, 56 and Dr. Muir-Sukenick, 57, are here to say to American women: no matter how stellar their achievements, that is not superficial to admit that ageing is changing. Readers are encouraged to find out what drives have daydreams about a facelift refined rather than programming.
At a time when cosmetic surgery is becoming increasingly more regarded as a casual effort and anti-aging injections inevitable, "Realistic" gives practical steps women to analyze how they feel about this paradox of beauty. "Do should women just age naturally, since their appearance does not define them, or should combat the signs of aging, beauty and youth are its currency and power?" ask the authors in his book.
The answer is not simple, if the value of the 20 years of patient information that the book is based on an indication. (Also surveyed other women 30 to 65, including models because sometimes consulted for modeling agencies.)
The mandate does not look your age has never been stronger. "We are talking about a generation of pioneers," said Dorree Lynn, a psychologist in Washington, whose book about sex after 50 is expected to be released in April. "They have no models for how they are getting older."
Sixty is the new 40. "That's an absolute lie," said Dr. Lynn. "What is true is 60-year-old is the new 60."
Admitting that issues of appearance can be painful for women who feel "slightly insulted by the fact", said Dr. Diller. Do not supposed feminism do promotions and roof-breaking the sensors of attention, not a tense front?
Most interesting stories from the book come from patients who are surprised at the are in mourning for his sags and veiny legs. Katherine, who did not use his real name in the book, is a researcher of the science of 53 years and mother of three, that it considers itself in the camp "more important things to worry about". But when she cancelled a Fortaleza beach with her husband because she does not feel comfortable in any swimsuit, she was concerned by how much he cared. Belatedly, came to recognize that his family may have taught him that worry about the appearance is superficial, but that she could be a woman of substance who happened to use a retinoid at night or visiting a spa on occasions.
This age can be the aesthetic is particularly stressful because the playing field is no longer equal. A baby boomer is pressed to choose if your brow will be au naturel or soft during his last years: a decision by his mother did not face. Ann Kearney-Cooke, 54, an expert on body image in Cincinnati, said the message of the grandmothers heard as his appearance was insulting: "you're not going to pump babies - is no longer so much use to society." But at least the view of pairs with so many wrinkles was a consolation. You might think that "we are all in" the same boat, said Dr. Kearney-Cooke, a psychologist.
The authors of "face it" point out that today that crawls an odd morality in our calculations of what we consider acceptable. Ridiculing cosmetic surgery too obvious now is a great American pastime. A post of gawk wondering why people keep plastic surgery recently won more than 400 comments, many envoys of high soapboxes by e-mail.
They are much more fascinating 60 - something celebrities masses anoint for having the courage to "naturally" ageing in the center of attention (gasp!), or at least not avail themselves of all the jobs available for them. Meryl Streep is an actress of such. Helen Mirren is another. We like to imagine that somehow they are vaccinated against the doubts.
And so, in January, it was vaguely disturbing to hear that Ms. Mirren has an attitude of laissez faire of cosmetic surgery rather than the firm position of only-di-no who had taken his fans. In a British newspaper, said, "you're going, 'I don't want to look at that face already', and I understand that, absolutely".
But why that makes it a sellout, Dr. Diller ask.? In an interview for this article, the authors said were not against plastic surgery less invasive efforts to slow March of time. The choice of intervention of fear or blindly is what them annoying. It sounds pretty laissez-faire herself, Dr. Muir-Sukenick said that he preferred that women are reflected in the first place, before taking action.
However, just as both Dr. Diller and Dr. Muir-Sukenick urge women to savour their futures, not its past, its modeling shots kept stalking as them ghost of Christmas past. They appear on screen during the appearance of March 11 of the authors in the programme "Today", and the two women are brought after the interview for this article. So, what their 50 - something faces - lined with wrinkles, they speak for themselves?
As Betty Friedan said once a woman years later, "if going to pretend it is youth, it is going to lose."
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